Tuesday, May 13, 2008

May 12, Kansas City, MO

Start 9:00 AM CST

2 Slices Toast w/ Butter & Honey
1 Banana Muffin
2 Black Coffees
1 Glass 2% Milk
1 Terrible Rest Stop Turkey & Cheese Sandwich w/ Mayonnaise
1 Boca Burger w/ Swiss, Mushroom, & Onions
1 Side Mashed Potatoes & Biscuit Gravy
3 Blue Moon Ales w/ Oranges
2 Uneaten McDonald's Hamburgers w/ Spit & Ass Hairs*
6 Spirulina Capsules
1 Kashi Honey & Oat Bar
1 Bedtime Yogi Tea

End Time: 1:00 AM CST

On May 12, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V states, "To enter a drive through on foot is as productive as talking to a wall."

*A late night incident occurs while Wiley attempts to satisfy a late night craving at a McDonald's drive through. First, Wiley attempts to go through on foot because the restaurant portion of the McDonald's is way passed closed. Palestinian Bluetooth is busy gassing up. So, Wiley attempts to kill two birds with one stone as none of the other band members desire a late night McDonald's bomb. Wiley's order on foot is met with deaf ears. The band gives it a second try, this time with Wiley behind the wheel using the traditional drive-thru ordering method. Upon receiving his order I document his purchase photographing him receiving change from the McDonald's employee. Wiley gets a bad vibe and claims that the employee senses funny business, finds the photo op to be not only off-putting but offensive, and will undoubtedly follow up by spitting on his burger and garnishing it with ass-hairs. The other band members cite this as paranoia and attempt to coax Wiley into consuming the burgers under consideration. Wiley refuses and for the first time in Diary of a Foodman history declines consumption leaving two burgers for dead on top of the van's dashboard throughout the entire night. Diary of a Foodman eases Wiley's paranoia by immediately destroying the controversial photographs.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Are you sure you don't have a tapeworm?

Email me when you roll into town on Monday. I hope to see you guys!