Las Cruces, NM

Start Time: 9:30 AM CST

6 Cups Black Coffee
1 Egg, Bacon, Cheese, & Green Chile Burrito
1 Golden Delicious Apple
1 Meatloaf w/ String Beans, Turnip Greens, & Corn
2 Biscuits
1 Iced Tea
1 Chamomile Tea
1 Yogi Bedtime Tea

End Time: 9:00 PM CST

On May 30, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V states, "Sorrow, illness, and failure are natural results of transgressions against the laws of eating."

Prescott, AZ en route to New Mexico

Start Time: 10:00 AM PST

1 Skinny Vanilla Latte Grande
2 Slices Ezekiel Toast w/ Goat Butter
1 Slice Ezekiel Toast w/ Goat Butter & Organic Blueberry Preserves
3 Organic Free Range Scrambled Eggs
1 Del Taco 1/2 Lb. Bean & Cheese Burrito w/ Green Sauce
1 Lg. Cup Iced Tea/Lemonade (1/3 Lemonade, 2/3 Iced Tea)
#7 Combo From Taco Bell (1 Chicken Quesadilla, 1 Beef Hard Taco)
1 Extra Lg. Coca Cola
1 Serving Honey Nut Cheerios w/ 2% Milk

End Time: 1:30 AM CST



On May 29, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V states, "Fortify against breaking down by eating regularly."

Prescott, AZ The Raven Cafe

Start Time: 10:00 AM PST

2 Slices Ezekiel Bread Toasted w/ Goat Butter
1 Slice Ezekiel Bread Toasted w/ Goat Butter & Blueberry Preserves
3 Organic Free Range Scrambled Eggs
1 Large Mocha Coffee w/ Rice Milk
1 Slice Pound Cake w/ Cream Cheese Icing
1 Cup Black Coffee
1/2 Pound Organic Free Range Grass Fed Beef Burger w/ Truffle Oil & Bleu Cheese
1 Side Sweet Potato Fries



1 Glass Pinot Noir
1 Maharishi IPA
2 Pints Recommended Lager

End Time: 9:30 PM PST

On May 28, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V states, "To eat is to heal."

Prescott, AZ

Start Time: 9:00 AM PST

1 Cran/Orange Juice
1 Bowl Oatmeal w/ Honey & Butter
1 Glass Milk
1 Banana Nut Muffin w/ Promise Vegetable Spread
1 Grilled Swiss Cheese On Rye
1 Side French Fries w/ Guacamole
1 Mega Brown Sugar Turkey & Cheese Sandwich w/ 3 Packets Mayonnaise
1 Banana Odwalla Bar
1 Fake Klondike Ice Cream Bar
2 Jamaican Ginger Beers

End Time: 12:00 AM PST

On May 27, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V states, "I play like I eat, effortlessly."



Friend of Foodman, "Uncle" Adam Schrader welcomes The Black Hollies into his lovely house on the hill in Prescott, AZ, where he treats The Black Hollies to goat butter omelettes, jam sessions, an amazing record collection, and an overwhelming vibe of peace, well-being, and merriment.

San Diego, CA Memorial Day

Start Time: 10:00 AM PST

2 Cups Cran/Orange Juice
1 Cup Orange Juice
2 Cups Black Coffee
2 Poached Eggs
2 Links Spicy Chicken Sausage w/ Side of Potatoes
1 Slice French Toast
1 Ben & Jerry's Half Baked Ice Cream Bar
4 Widmer's Ales
1 Jack In The Box Ultimate Cheeseburger w/ Fries & Small Coke
3 Jalapeno Poppers

End Time: 1:00 AM PST

On May 26, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V, "It has always been a dream of mine to open up my own Bed & Breakfast."

Los Angeles, CA

Start Time: 12:00 PM PST

2 Cups Cran/Orange Juice
1 Orange
2 Cups Black Coffee
1 Skinny Latte
2 Poached Eggs w/ 2 Links of Chicken Sausage
1 Side of Sauteed Spinach
3 Newcastle Ales
2 Modello Negros
1 Bean & Cheese Burrito

End Time: 1:00AM PST

On May 25, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V states, "Savoy Truffle is a great song."



On account of Los Angeles pizza sucking so badly friend of Foodman, Jenni Matz, tempts HJWV with a frozen slice of pizza transported from Stella's in Jersey City, NJ, on a trans-American flight to her and Sean Lambert's Los Feliz apartment in Los Angeles, CA, earlier that day. Wiley declines bi-coastal food status citing consumption of the slice outside of its native New Jersey as unsafe.

Las Vegas, NV en route to Los Angeles, CA

Start Time: 3:00 PM PST

1 Mushroom Swiss Burger w/ Fries w/ Mayonnaise & Ketchup
1 Iced Tea
2 Flogeres (Greek Pastry w/ Honey, Nuts, & Chocolate)
1 Baklava
1 Chicken Mole Taco
1/2 Bean Burrito in Corn Tortilla
2 Al Pastor Tacos in Corn Tortilla

End Time 12:00 AM PST



On May 24, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V states, "Only associate with those loyal to food."

Las Vegas, NV

Start Time: 11:00 AM PST
1 Glass 1/2 Orange Juice 1/2 Cranberry Juice
1 Cheesy Bagel w/ Extra Cream Cheese
2 Cups Black Coffee
1 Lg. Burrito w/ Pinto Beans, Eggs, & American Cheese
2 Cups Coffee w/ Rice Milk
2 Slices European Style Whole Grain Bread
1 Chicken Philly Steak Sandwich w/ Onions, Mushrooms, & Peppers
1 Salad
2 McDonald's Cheeseburgers
3 Eggs Over Medium w/ Potatoes & Toast

End Time: 7:30 AM PST



On May 23, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V states, "As you look upon a plate of food, which appears so solid and real, remember to think of it as ideas in the mind frozen in physical form.

Los Angeles, CA

Start Time: 9:00 AM PST

1 Odwalla Orange Juice
1 Odwalla Banana Strawberry Juice
1 Apple
1 Banana
2 Cups Black Coffee
2 Cups Iced Tea/Lemonade
1 Green Powder w/ Water
2 Grilled Cheese Sandwiches
1 Red Stripe
2 Chocolate Cupcakes

End Time: 1:00 AM PST

On May 22, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V states, "Keepin' it light and doin' it right."

San Francisco, CA

Start Time: 8:30 AM PST

1 Odwalla Orange Juice
1 Orange
1 Small Soy Latte
1 Fresh Squeezed Orange Juice
1 Portabello Mushroom Sandwich w/ Onion, Tomato, & Pesto
1 Side Salad w/ Balsamic Vinaigrette
2 Slices Shitty Pizza

End Time: 1:00 AM PST

On May 21, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V states, "Remember that when you are unhappy it is generally because you do not eat enough."

Portland, OR

Start Time: 9:00 AM PST

1 Cup Black Coffee
3 Raspberry Creme Cheese Pastry Bites
1 Kellogs Cherry Breakfast Bar
1 Omelette w/ Cheddar Cheese, Onions, Spinach, & Mushrooms
1 Side Potatoes O'Brien
1 Cup Black Coffee



1 Grilled Swiss Cheese w/ Bacon
1 Cup Pea Soup
1 Side Salad
1 Coca Cola

End Time: 11:00 PM PST

On May 20, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V states, "True freedom consists in performing the action of eating in accordance with the right judgement."



Friend of Foodman, Justin Angelo Morey, gives HJWV a run for his money at Pollard's Flat in Shasta, CA, as a light from above shines down on Pollard's famous Chilli Cheese Dog.



Friend of Foodman, Nicholas Albert Ferrante, contemplates the secret of HJWV.

Seattle, WA Dick's Hamburgers en route to Portland, OR

Start Time: 8:30 AM PST

1 Glass Orange & Cranberry Juice
2 Slices Wheat Toast w/ Butter & Honey
1 Glass Milk



2 Dick's Burger Specials w/ Onions, Relish, & Mayonnaise*



1 Unsweetened Iced Tea



Chicken w/ Onions, Peppers, & Cheddar Cheese over Rice w/ Tomatoes & Mole Sauce
2 Oatmeal Cookies
4 IPA Beers
1 Burger King Veggie Burger

End Time: 2:30 AM PST

On May 19, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V states, "My body shall pass but my hunger shall go on."


*Friend of Foodman, David Anthony Leto, highly skilled drummer, apt three-point shooter, and super dad, reacts to Wiley's visit to Dick's. It shall be noted that D. Lee once had Vincent O'Donnell's mother, Julianna, who lives in Seattle, freeze a few Dick's burger's which served as her carry on for a trans-American flight to New Jersey. Upon her arrival to the Garden State, Leto promptly microwaved the burgers for his consumption marking a very special day in fast food history as well as testifying to the fact that Dick's makes one tasty burger.

Seattle, WA / "Philly Dog Around The World"

Start Time: 9:30 AM PST

1 Glass Orange Juice
2 Slices Wheat Toast w/ Butter, Honey, & Peanut Butter
2 Cups Black Coffee
1 Glass Milk



1 All Beef Jumbo Gas Station Hot Dog w/ Relish & Mustard

1 Chicken Breast w/ Side of Spaghetti w/ Sauce & Grated Cheese
1 Side Salad w/ Balsamic Vinaigrette



1 Jumbo Hot Link w/ Philly Cream Cheese, Onions, Mustard, & Relish

End Time: 2:00 AM PST

On May 18, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V states, "No matter how hard you work never got to bed without giving food the deepest attention."


Friend of Foodman, Justin Angelo Morey, battles Wiley for "Alpha Dog" status as he enjoys an indigenous Seattle delicacy, the Philly Cream Cheese Hot Dog garnished with an obscene amount of hot sauce.

Day Off Utah, Oregon, Washington

Start Time: 8:00 MST

2 Slices Wheat Toast w/ Butter & Honey
1 Bowl Oatmeal
1 Glass Skim Milk
1 Cup Black Coffee
1 Side Salad
1 Cup Bean & Vegetable Soup
1 Side Seasoned Fries
1 Boca Burger
2 Eggs Over Easy w/ Bacon, Potatoes, & Toast
1 Cup Black Coffee

End Time: 11:00 PM PST



On May 17, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V states, "You can't just sit and wait for food to fall into your lap. Once your course is set and your will is firm, you have to make a practical effort.."

Salt Lake City, UT

Start Time: 8:30 AM MST

1 Bowl Oatmeal
2 Slices Wheat Toast w/ Butter & Honey
1 Glass Skim Milk
2 Cups Black Coffee
1 30 g. Pure Protein Bar
1 Side Salad w/ Honey Mustard Dressing
1 Burger King Veggie Burger w/ Cheese
2 Cups Heineken From 5L Mini-Keg Served From "Bar" In Back Of Van
2 Cans Pabst Blue Ribon
2 Slices Sausage Pizza
2 Slices Pizza w/ Peppers & Mushrooms

End Time: 1:00 AM MST

On May 16, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V states, "Peace is found in surrender to good food."

Denver, CO

Start Time: 9:00 AM MST

2 Slices of Toast w/ Honey & Promise Butter
1 Bowl "Gotta Have My" Pops Cereal
1 Bowl Raisin Bran w/ Skim Milk
3 Cups Black Coffee
1/4 Smoked Chicken
1 Side Mustard Greens
1 Side Sweet Potato Casserole
1 Side Baked Beans Cooked in Fatback
1 Glass Lemonade
1 Pint Scratch Amber
2 Cans Pabst Blue Ribbon
1 Shot Maker's Mark
2 Eggs Over Easy w/ Bacon & Potatoes
2 Slices Whole Wheat Toast w/ Butter
1 Decaf Black Coffee

End Time: 3:00 AM MST



On May 15, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V, states, "Chewing the wrong food is better than bolting down the right food."

Day Off Lawrence, KS/Denver, CO

Start Time: 9:00 CST

1 Bowl Raisin Bran w/ Milk
2 Cups Black Coffee
1 Triple Decker 3 Cheese Melt w/ Provolone, White Cheddar, Swiss
1 Cup Vegetable Minestrone Soup
1 Peach Iced Tea
1 Vegan Cookie
1 Bag Ritz Crackers & Cheese
1 32 g. Chocolate & Peanut Butter Pure Protein Bar
1 Sobe Green Tea Energy Drink
1 Special K Vanilla Crisp Breakfast Bar
1 Vegetable Omelette w/ American Cheese Smothered in Chili w/ Potatoes & Whole Wheat Toast w/ Butter
3 Bites Coconut Custard Pie
1 Cup Black Coffee

End Time: 12:30 AM MST



On May 14, Herbert Jospeh Wiley V recounts an incident from the previous evening at The Replay Lounge in Lawrence, KS.

Herb: Hello. Can I please have two Blue Moons with orange slices?

Bartender: Huh? Dude, oranges? Take a look at where you are!

Herb: (Dumbfounded) Oh... Yeah, but they had them last night.

Lawrence, KS

Start Time: 9:00 AM CST

2 Slices of Toast w/ Honey & Butter
1 Glass Skim Milk
1 Top of Banana Nut Muffin
3 Cups Black Coffee
1 Potrabello Mushroom Sandwich w/ Kale, Onions, Olives, & Provolone w/ Balsamic Vinegar
1 Cup Corn Chowder
1/4 Pickle Spear
1 Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookie
3 Blue Moon Ales
1 12" Veggie Sub w/ Provolone, Avocado, Sprouts, & Mayonnaise

End Time: 2:00 AM CST



On May 13, 2008, Wiley quotes Grace Slick, "Feed your head."

May 12, Kansas City, MO

Start 9:00 AM CST

2 Slices Toast w/ Butter & Honey
1 Banana Muffin
2 Black Coffees
1 Glass 2% Milk
1 Terrible Rest Stop Turkey & Cheese Sandwich w/ Mayonnaise
1 Boca Burger w/ Swiss, Mushroom, & Onions
1 Side Mashed Potatoes & Biscuit Gravy
3 Blue Moon Ales w/ Oranges
2 Uneaten McDonald's Hamburgers w/ Spit & Ass Hairs*
6 Spirulina Capsules
1 Kashi Honey & Oat Bar
1 Bedtime Yogi Tea

End Time: 1:00 AM CST



On May 12, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V states, "To enter a drive through on foot is as productive as talking to a wall."



*A late night incident occurs while Wiley attempts to satisfy a late night craving at a McDonald's drive through. First, Wiley attempts to go through on foot because the restaurant portion of the McDonald's is way passed closed. Palestinian Bluetooth is busy gassing up. So, Wiley attempts to kill two birds with one stone as none of the other band members desire a late night McDonald's bomb. Wiley's order on foot is met with deaf ears. The band gives it a second try, this time with Wiley behind the wheel using the traditional drive-thru ordering method. Upon receiving his order I document his purchase photographing him receiving change from the McDonald's employee. Wiley gets a bad vibe and claims that the employee senses funny business, finds the photo op to be not only off-putting but offensive, and will undoubtedly follow up by spitting on his burger and garnishing it with ass-hairs. The other band members cite this as paranoia and attempt to coax Wiley into consuming the burgers under consideration. Wiley refuses and for the first time in Diary of a Foodman history declines consumption leaving two burgers for dead on top of the van's dashboard throughout the entire night. Diary of a Foodman eases Wiley's paranoia by immediately destroying the controversial photographs.

May 11, Mother's Day Buffet In Rural Illinois

Start Time: 12:00 PM CST



2 Buffet Plates Including:
2 Pieces Fried Chicken
2 Servings Green Beans Cooked in Fatback
2 Servings Stuffing
2 Servings Sweet Potatoes
2 Splashes Beef Gravy
1 Apple Pie Flavored LARABAAR
2 Cups Black Coffee
1 Cup Yogi Ginger Tea
1 Personal Sized Vegetarian Pizza Pie
2 Wheat Beers
1 Turkey & American Cheese Hoagie w/ 3 Packs Mayonnaise

End Time: 11:45 PM CST


Wiley with buffet plate #1


On Mother's Day 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V quotes Chris Burke, "Eating is serious."


Wiley with buffet plate #2

May 10, Iowa City, IA

Start Time: 9:00 AM CST

2 Slices of Toast w/ Butter & Honey
2 Glasses Milk
3 Cups Black Coffee
1 Turkey & Cheese Sandwich on Rye w/ Mayonnaise
1 Salad w/ Fat-Free Ranch Dressing
1 Salad w/ Honey Mustard Dressing
1 Cup French Onion Soup
2 Newcastle Ales
2 Goose Island Ales
1 Pint Fat Tire
1 Smoked Turkey & American Cheese Sandwich w/ Mayonnaise
1 Bag Sun Chips
1 Red Delicious Apple
1 Yogi Ginger Tea

End Time: 3:00 AM CST



On May 10, 2008, Herbert Joseph Wiley V states, "Midwestern meats equal south bound cramps."